DATING AS A BLACK TRANS WOMAN
When creating the film, I knew I wanted to include a transgender character. Often, when we consider what transgender people look like or how they act, we are drawn into the faux and damaging narrative of the idea of ‘passing’ as feminine or masculine depending on their respective genders. In a Vice article discussing the ‘Politics of ‘passing’,’ members of the trans* community spoke about the “pressure of hiding the fact that they’re transgender in order to protect their own safety, while also acknowledging the need for greater trans visibility.”
The media leans into a narrative of scrutinising trans* people in the public eye, asking questions about transitioning, the stage they are at in their transition, and when they are going to fully transition. It creates an unhealthy culture of binary, for example, expecting a transgender woman to need to completely transform their body, their genitalia, their femininity or masculinity, to assimilate to what we are told a woman should look like. Although some trans* people wish to transition fully and step into their authentic selves, not all trans* individuals wish to do so. Transgender writer Dean Moncel writes “I’ve received what some trans boys would die for, phrases like “I would have never guessed!” “Nobody can tell!” “You pass so well!” And while those comments are usually well-intentioned, this opens the floor for an honest discussion about passing,” leading on to stating that “calling a passing good or bad places an emphasis of shame onto an already marginalized group. Bad or poor passing sounds like a failed attempt at their gender, purely by its wording. Second, it propagates a false understanding of trans-identity, and of gender expression in general.” Jourdan, therefore is illustrated to attempt to counter the ideas of trans* femmes needing to perform femininity in order to be valid. She sits on her bed, dressed in baggy, comfortable clothing, no makeup, reading up on mechanical engineering. This choice of subject came from the lack of female presence in STEM fields, most often due to their masculinisation. On her floor are sliders and heels, on her bedside table is her medication and her sandalwood scented candle. I wanted Jourdan’s character to embrace many different energies, not expecting her to fulfil stereotypes of what it might be to be trans. As Dean Mocel writes, “Gender is not earned, it is lived.”
It is also important to note my decision to illustrate Jourdan as a Black trans* woman. As told by the Transgender Law Centre, “Black Trans Women & Black Trans Femmes, existing at multiple intersections of oppression, are uniquely singled out for criminalisation by the police and government. Black Trans Women & Black Trans Femmes experience disproportionately higher rates of housing insecurity, police violence, and under/unemployment due to discrimination based in their perceived gender and race.” It is important to see the intersections of discrimination and violence different marginalised identities face in order to better understand the system of inequality we live under. “When Black Trans Women & Black Trans Femmes are free to live and lead, all transgender women of colour, all Black people, all transgender people, and ultimately all people will be free.” Jourdan’s character is an offering to the trans* community, I wanted her to sit in peace, in comfort, in calm.
– Issy Stephens, Director
SOUND COLLABORATOR STATEMENT
The first thing that came to my head when I saw this character was the tranquillity of the scene. While there wasn’t much in their room, it described them as a person. The collection of shoes on the ground, the rose on the windowsill, the book with the Black Panther logo. These items all define Jourdan. When thinking about the sound design for Jourdan, my mind wondered in a direction it often does. One of ambient music and creating sounds and music out of the sounds of nature. Jourdan seems to be at home in this scene; a place in which they feel safe. I translated this into my sound design with a field recording of the stream from my home, which I could hear through my bedroom window as a child. To give the recording melody I used resonators, which essentially morph the incoming audio signals by adding harmonics and shift the pitch of various frequencies. By adding the resonators to the recording I was able to turn the sound of the stream into an ambient track that changes as the recording does, to the sound of the flowing stream. I then added shimmer reverb, which is another effect used in a lot of ambient music. This would give the track an etherealtone and create depth for the individual tracks on which it was applied. I also included the sound of a Guiro, with added delay, for percussion, which added to the tranquillity of the scene. One of my passions is ambient music and this scene helped me focus that energy on a specific scene, which in turn helped me create something, transcending my past and my home into another human being.
Lewis Lenk, Sound Collaborator for Jourdan
RESOURCES:
Issy’s resources
- Ceyenne Doroshow is Black, Trans, Powerful and Forever – an interview for StyleLikeU, 2021.
In this interview Ceyenne Doroshow talks about her experience as a Black trans* woman. She talks about the disparity and mistreatment she faced by family members, Lesbian and Gay organisations and how she found her community. Ceyenne describes how sex work as a way of providing herself shelter, telling the story of how she stopped sex work and turned her arrest into a ‘life time of work of advocacy, [taking] ownership and creat[ing her] own agency, where [she] could do just what [she’d] been doing for a life time, taking care of [her] community].’ She powerfully and rightfully states that there is not enough money in the system, and that Black and trans* people are ’tokenised and abused’ by the system.
Issy Stephens
I knew I wasn’t gay, I was turned completely off by the word ’transvestite,’ and there was not yet a word Transgender. What applied to me was young woman, young lady, that was it.
Ceyenne Doroshow
We need more of us in every room, so there’s no room that will keep us out. That every door should be open and every ceiling should be broken. And it needs to reflect all of this transness. All of us.
Ceyenne Doroshow
- Before I Am a Woman, Before I Am Black, I Am Freddie: Freddie Harrel – an interview for StyleLikeU, 2016
This is a beautiful interview with Freddie about her life, her style and the lessons that she’s learnt. She talks about accessing gender fluidity through her clothing and how being a Black woman in France has affected her, encountering racism on a daily basis throughout eduction. She states that around men “I feel like I need to portray myself as someone, to prove I am this and that,” and how moving to London and meeting her husband has changed her opinions about herself and who she can be. I really like StyleLikeU’s work and their interviews with people are always so interesting and diverse. I wanted to include this resource for Jourdan’s character because of the topics of womanhood, gender and race.
Issy Stephens
When I started to live my life beyond the walls of my gender, I don’t care if I am a woman, I don’t care if I’m black or white, you have endless possibilities standing in front of you, you can be anything do anything, say anything, because what’s left is you.
Freddie Harrel
- Transgender Men and Women Discuss the Politics of ‘Passing’ – an article by Chris Godfrey for Vice, 2015.
This article interviews different trans men and women about the politics of ‘passing,’ and how it is a damaging narrative for those in the trans* community. It includes facts and figures about trans* individuals and how “visibility is essential to normalisation; to wider acceptance across society and greater understanding.”
Issy Stephens
“Before I transitioned I thought, ‘I need to pass because I’ll get abused in the street if I don’t,'” she says. “My personal experience is that I’m no longer concerned about passing. People will see who they want—that’s their issue. Thankfully, I’ve not been abused in the street. I’m 6’2″ for a start, and I have quite a deep voice, so there are certain situations where I do pass and certain situations where I don’t pass. But I’ve taken the stance that I want to be seen as a woman who is also trans. I’m proud of my trans identity.”
Megan Kay interviewed by Chris Godfrey
- How To Survive High School As A Trans Teen – an article by Ember Ocampo for Salty.
Ember Ocampo writes about her experience as a trans teenager, spelling out a few key lessons she has learnt along the way. The article talks about how the identities of being trans and an immigrant intersect in America, and how to navigate them.
Issy Stephens
Trans women are strong, independent, and powerful as hell, but I have to assume that a big want in all of us girlies is love. High school dating is tough as is, and being trans can make it seem impossible. Just remember that you are more than a secret, and you deserve to be shown off. Don’t lower your worth for a person that doesn’t deserve you! And for my straight girlies, don’t determine your worth using the male gaze, because in conclusion, men ain’t shit.
Ember Ocampo
Trans people being expected to hate their bodies is harmful. This narrative was created to enforce binary standards like men only having flat chests, women only having feminine qualities, and non binary people being required to look androgynous. To escape this narrative, you have to realize that human bodies are just human bodies, and our identities don’t have to directly relate to that. Finding a partner who appreciates your body as is can be very difficult, but knowing your worth and knowing what you deserve will push you through. Don’t get it twisted: trans people are fully capable of loving their own bodies and self.
Ember Ocampo
COMMUNITY FOUND resources On trans* Identity
- The Untold Tales of T – artwork by Emrys Baker-Bartlett
Due to the nature of social media and conventional standards of beauty, we only hear and see a small number of the changes testosterone brings. The aim of this infographic is to destigmatise these changes and give people on T the representation they need.
Emrys Baker-Bartlett
Emrys Baker-Bartlett is a 21 year old Falmouth Illustration graduate. Within their work, they aim to create vibrant, quirky and diverse characters and tell stories that are often untold. Their dream is to illustrate graphic novels and create stories about gender identity and neurodivergence, so marginalised individuals can have the representation they need to feel seen and heard.
Resource submitted by Emrys Baker-Bartlett
- Astitva – a short experimental poetic documentary and installation film, 2021.
Astitva is an ongoing project exploring Indian trans + non-binary experiences of safety and joy. We are currently working on a short experimental poetic documentary + installation film. The film is not yet complete, but the instagram is a community resource, and over the next 10 weeks we’re showcasing ‘Art and Activism in Indian Trans + Non-Binary Communities’… Media representation of Trans and Non-binary people + experiences are so often driven by trauma and essentialism. This project strives to rewrite this narrative and highlight alternative trans + non-binary experiences of joy and safety. The project is a collaboration between Indian and UK-based trans + non-binary people, and stands as evidence of the shared experience between intersecting communities across the globe.
Nella Gocał
Resource submitted by Nella Gocał
- Trans Care – a book by Hil Malatino, 2020.
Trans Care is a beautiful academic-personal prose hybrid book on the intricacies of care labour within the trans community. It discusses the unpaid work many trans people do under the guise of ‘activism’ and the importance of taking care of both ourselves (as trans people) and our chosen family. It also sheds light on the way trans-elders often step in to fill the gap created by medical-gatekeeping. ‘Un-Professional’ Care work is not discussed enough in queer + trans theory, and so it was really eye-opening, especially in connecting and highlighting the similarities between un-paid trans care work, and paid cis care work.
Nella Gocał
Resource submitted by Nella Gocał
- TransLash Podcast with Imara Jones
A podcast that hit backs against rising transphobia, hosted by a black transwoman. It’s a great access point to people/allys who aren’t/haven’t been reading up on the recent surge of TERFism and transphobia,
Nella Gocał
Resource submitted by Nella Gocał
I’m recommending this because (from what I’ve seen in my research) this is one of the only fully-accessible trans archives around.
Nella Gocał
Resource submitted by Nella Gocał
I’m recommending this because (from what I’ve seen in my research) it is one of the only fully-accessible trans archives around.
Nella Gocał
Resource submitted by Nella Gocał
- @pinkmantaray – an instagram account
Schuyler Bailar (he/him) mixes personal experience about being transgender with general important information about being trans and being an ally to trans people, as well as covering other topics such as racism. His posts are very informative and are beneficial to everyone.
Rowan Noble
Resource submitted by Rowan Noble
- A Queer Vision of Love and Marriage – a TED talk by Tiq Milan and Kim Katrin Milan, 2016.
Love is a tool for revolutionary change and a path toward inclusivity and understanding for the LGBTQ+ community. Married activists Tiq and Kim Katrin Milan have imagined their marriage — as a transgender man and cis woman — a model of possibility for people of every kind. With infectious joy, Tiq and Kim question our misconceptions about who they might be and offer a vision of an inclusive, challenging love that grows day by day.
TED Talk description
Resource submitted by Alfie Challis
- Trans Femme Guide To Safer Sex – Brazen, 2013.
A file for safer sex for trans individuals. Written in American, but not much is different to UK. Good resources to have a flick through! Files cover: Sexual Positions, Sex Work Safety, STI/STD Safety- Safety in drug use if necessary.
Bear
Resource submitted by Bear
- Trans Masc Guide to Safe Sex With Men – Primed2, 2016.
A file for safer sex for trans individuals. Written in American, but not much is different to UK. Good resources to have a flick through! Files cover: Sexual Positions, Sex Work Safety, STI/STD Safety- Safety in drug use if necessary.
Bear
- @transparentblackgirl – instagram account
Founded by Yasmine Jameelah (she/her), this account focuses mostly on healing from the trauma of watching black people being murdered every day, as well as more personal trauma, such as sexual trauma, and more recently, church trauma. This account is a very positive and accepting place and has a very good environment for healing.
Rowan Noble
Resource submitted by Rowan Noble
FAST FOOD | A Social Project 